


Selfie

by Galaxa13



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 13:31:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 800
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1746434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Galaxa13/pseuds/Galaxa13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dave teaches Kanaya how to take a selfie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Selfie

Kanaya sat by herself on a pile of pillows Rose had alchemized as she mended a tear in one of her skirts. Rose, meanwhile, was off doing another of her alchemization experiments. Hopefully this one didn't result in more pillows. This particular block was absolutely littered with them. At least they made for comfortable seating arrangements. As she worked Dave strode in.

"Hello, Dave." she said, looking up from her work.

"Yo, Maryam." he returned with a nod. Nudging a pillow over with the toe of his shoe he flopped down in another pile a little ways away from her.

"Are you quite alright?" Kanaya inquired as she raised a brow at his motionless form.

"You know me, chillest dude in paradox space. I'm so chill I make Antarctica look like the Serengeti. All them penguins be asking, 'yo man, why don't we hang with that dude Dave, he's got it going on, unlike this boring ass place we live in'. I'm the fuckin' king of the penguins over here. Gettin' fish flung at my feet, ruling over my flightless empire."

"I. . . I don't think I follow your confusing analogy."

"I'm good. Don't worry about me."

Kanaya bit her lip. She really didn't want to be meddlesome, but Rose had told her when Dave went on long analogies usually something was on his mind. Putting down her sewing she sighed.

"I am always willing to listen if you need someone to talk to." she offered.

"Cool. Good to know." Dave replied, still refusing to move a muscle from where he fell into the pile, staring up at the ceiling. Either he really was fine or he was blocking her out. Kanaya decided to give one more try and then leave him be.

"Surely you could be doing something more worthwhile than laying in a pile of pillows." she said as she watched him.

"Not likely," Dave said. "I already wrote three raps today with the illest of beats and took a whole butt-load of ironic selfies. I've already reached my "anger Karkat" quota for the day and even helped the Mayor create a whole new zone for the can town. What is left for me to do than lay here and just soak in my own awesomeness for the rest of the day?"  
Kanaya furrowed her brows and said, "Um, that sounds like quite the fulfilling day, but what exactly is a 'selfie', if I may ask?"

Something changed in Dave as he seemed to grow even more still. Slowly he lifted his head and she could feel his eyes staring at her from behind his shades. She was beginning to feel a tad uncomfortable and that maybe she had said something wrong before he finally said, "You poor, poor thing. Let me teach you this ancient art."

Kanaya had been interested in learning more about human culture so she readily put away her sewing supplies and allowed herself to become the pupil of Mr. Strider, though she didn't quite understand the point of taking multiple pictures of yourself. Dave had also insisted she make quack-beast lips in many of the shots she took with his polaroid camera. She felt incredibly silly and this whole venture was stupid, especially when he told her to "shake those photos like the old song demands", which she didn't understand at all and he told her to forget it. She began to wonder if Dave was just making fun of her and making an elaborate joke of her efforts to be a supportive friend.

When they had finally taken enough photos for Dave to be satisfied they laid them out across and table and stared down at their work. Every single one of them had a giant lens flare that covered up her face. Some were complete whited out. Kanaya felt dejected as she looked over at Dave, staring at her failed selfies.

"I'm sorry, Dave," she said. "I messed up every single one."

"What are you talking about?" he said as he picked up a couple of the photos and stared at them. "These are the most ironic selfies I've ever seen!" Kanaya was surprised by this statement. Dave turned to look at her and gave her his patented Strider Smile before continuing, "In fact, I think you have mastered the art of selfie taking. I'm tearing up here like a proud father whose kid just scored the goal at their sports game."

"Oh, well then, I'm happy to make you proud." Kanaya said, smiling back. Dave was strange and hard to figure out a lot of the time, but it felt good to entertain him for a while and even get his praise. Though she still didn't feel like she actually understood the art of selfie taking or irony for that matter.

**Author's Note:**

> So I was in a stream a long time ago and the idea came around that Kanaya's selfies would be nothing but lens flares and that Dave would think it was the height of irony. It took me a long time to write, but I finally got around to doing it.


End file.
